Sports Oscars

This past weekend we have the real oscars. Tonight I give you the sports oscars. Your Welcome. Go ahead, thank the academy.

Best Writer: Theo Epstien and the Boston Trio Powerhead.

Anyone who can create a drama like the one they crafted last summer deserves something. You created a monster out of one of the most beloved figures in the hundred year history of Boston sports. You made yourselves the good guys, all while making your team significantly worse, throwing out back to back Series' and losing to Tampa Bay. That villain? Hit .450 and took a .500 team to the NLCS. I can see Epstein, Lucchino, Henry, Werner, and Gammons all playing poker in the bouls of Fenway concocting this script while counting the money they will not be paying Scott Boras. Good work gentlemen, we were all fooled.

Worst Player in a Supporting Role:

Ben Roethlisberger. The Highest Paid Played in the League. The A Fraud of the NFL. What a joke this guy is. It is like the baby with the street walking coked out mother who drops him off at the doorstep of a multimillionaire. An incredible defense, and a plethera of recievers who would sell their soul to come down with the rock make this glorified nose guard's job much easier. There is no one in sports who has been impacted by his surroundings more. He is a fraud. A phony. I would love to see him make the plays he does while throwing to Jabar Gaffney, Reche Caldwell and Bethel Johnson. The Golden Boy was given ONE real receiver and instantly they became the best team to ever take the field. 

Lifetime Achievement Award

Bill Belichick. A Matt Cassel led team, mind you the first time a team has been led by Matt Cassel in 9 years, finishes 11-5. In any other year, this team goes into Pittsburgh, forces turnovers, makes big pays and waltzes all the way to Tampa. I have no doubt in my mind, that had NE gotten in, they win the Super Bowl. They simply the best coached team in sports history, and we were robbed of seeing Bill's best post season job ever. The fact this team went 11-5 in itself is amazing. His best work yet.... keep on frowning Bill. And may you bring joy to no one for years to come. 

America's Next Icon

Cristiano Ronaldo. Saturday's top ten on the evening SportsCenter featured a game winning free kick from C. Ronaldo. Serie A scored are being scrolled along the Bottom Line on the home network. A Lazio goal against Lecce was featured on Sunday Afternoon's top ten. 4 of the 8 UEFA CL games are being broadcast live this week. Get ready America, UEFA is coming. And the charming, good looking, incredibly talented Portuguese artist of the dead ball is leading the charge. 

Moment of the Year. 

The essence of sports, at least to this columnist, was experienced in one hour long span on the cold, damp evening of October 13, 2008. The 1-3 Browns were playing on Monday Night Football against the undefeated World Champion New York Giants on the shore of Lake Erie. 2500 miles away, the Los Angeles Dodgers were hosting the Philadelphia Phillies, Game 4 at Dodger Stadium. A loss would put the Dodgers in a hole that would make a comeback extremely improbable. Tonight matters. And because I wasn't born in Brookline, MA and all three of my professional sports teams don't hold World Championships at the same time, there was a moment in which I experienced the best and worst of sports. Braylon Edwards had over 140 receiving yards, the Browns controlled the line of scrimmage on both sides, and as Eric Wright scampered down the sideline performing the most exciting TAINT (Bill Simmons, ESPN) of the year. It was a slaughter. This young columnist was ready to dance all night. The Dodgers were taking a 5-3 lead into the 8th. Sometime that fateful evening Matt Stairs sold his soul to the Devil himself, and took Jon Broxton very, very deep. It all but ended the Dodger's magic run. It's like the perfect 10 model with herpes. Or perhaps the 9 dollar beer in Las Vegas. Or the comp'd suite in a hotel for three dudes, and finding out there are only two beds. What a country. 

Athlete of the Year:

Manny Ramirez. Doesn't really need a paragraph detailing why. I am sure he will sign a new contract as soon as the entire city of Los Angeles gets off his shoulders. 

Football

No one cares about tonight's "big" match against Mexico. ESPN is trying to pretend they do, but the Syracuse Uconn game is going to be on... following by the Tobacco Road showdown, so who are we kidding. The soccer organizations have been trying to make our soccer stars national stars. This failed miserably. We even brought over an English star, who has sense retreated to Milan and will not be heard from any time soon.
What these executives are missing is that soccer is about a 14 on an irrelevent scale of 1-10. A Rod gets caught using and Brett Favre retires again (1:1 odds he is under center for Tampa by week 3 of preseason) on the day American soccer is supposed to shine. No one is going to turn off Carolina/Duke in favor ir USA/Mexico.... which is essentially US soccer's most important match.

I blame myself for caring, for watching Bocanegra interviews (he is an American Soccer Star, for the 99% of you with lives). I am not a soccer fan, I am a fan of sport. Of the goosebumps you get when the buzzer beating 3 pointer falls, when the homerun stays fair, and everytime you hear Al Michaels say the words "seconds," "miracle," or the numbers 1-10 in any context.

We have no moments in soccer. We have no seconds. We have a woman stripping in the Rose bowl 11 years ago, and that is it. This is why we dont care. We have no emotional attatchment and we have no interest or national pride.

Solution?
Solution:
USA's starting lineup tonight against Mexico.
GK: Dwight Howard, C Orlando Magic.
LB: Brian Dawkins, S Philadelphia Eagles.
CB: Troy Polumalu, S Pittsburgh Steelers
RB: Brian Urlacher, MLB Chicago Bears
LMF: Jose Reyes, SS NY Mets
LCMF: Adam Vinatieri, K Indy Colts
RCMF: Neil Rackers, K Arizona Cardinals
RMF: Ed Reed, S Baltimore Ravens
CAM: Kobe Bryant, F LA Lakers
ST: Reggie Bush, RB, New Orleans Saints
ST: LeBron James, F Cleveland Cavaliers

Now I am watching, and so are you. If it doesn't work? we are 0-1 in qualifying. Which is most likely where we will be in 4 hours anyway. I say roll the dice, and see if we can get more people in this country rooting for the US instead of Mexico. Forza Americana!